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Points2Shop Forums » Creative Works » Does it sound good? Help me with cell rap
Created: 2014-09-09 02:18:15
Samlee123
US (LA) gold
New Poster
Total posts: 7
Date of Birth: 1996-05-06
Total Earnings: $43.28
Before I leave for school, my parents wave me goodbye.
I get on the bus and tell the bus driver hi.
When I walk in the school, I see bad kids on the wall.
I walk in to get inspected by mr. Bald
I walk to the left of the yellow tape thats on the floor.
Seeing it is a eyesore
Trashcans are placed around the school
In it are bottles, papers, and disposed food.
School bell rings for class to start
mr. Campbell looking like a dog bout to bark
Students rushing to class
Because they don't have a hall pass
Then comes lunch in the cafeteria
The principal gets mad because no one is following his criteria
He's send everyone to his office
But the electricity goes off
He becomes scared and soft
Samlee123
US (LA) gold
New Poster
Total posts: 7
Date of Birth: 1996-05-06
Total Earnings: $43.28
It's about cell analogies
ajfortner
US (SC) platinum
Senior Poster
Total posts: 147
Date of Birth: 1994-10-31
Total Earnings: $805.54
every two lines don't have to rhyme, would make it seem more like a rap than a poem. like go on a spurt about something like... hmm... let's see...
where you say I see bad kids on the wall, go on a spurt like say, "i see bad kids on the wall, they yell, they laugh, they joke, they trick, some of them are even rude and get a kick as I get inspected by Mr. Bald,
another thing you could add would be a lot of words in a row that sound familiar like after the part about rushing to class or even after the part about the hall pass say something like
it's a comedy, honestly, these kids acting like they in a fraternity while they scramble, ramble, jamble down the hall pushing past one another like they have no feeling at all
idk just make it seem a lil less like a poem lol best help I can give right now
justforlooks
US elite
Senior Poster
Total posts: 116
It's about cell analogiesSamlee123


I would love to help you however I don't understand what the above means.

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