A little story..

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Created: 2012-06-26 01:17:44
TiMxD
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reply date: 2012-06-26 01:17:44 last edited on: 2012-06-28 15:55:41


****Before you continue viewing the thread, note that everything here was written by me. Please don't take my ideas that are being used. Note that this is only a very small portion of the final story. I simply want suggestions and such as to how to improve writing it. All characters used belong to their respective owners(Disney).****


A couple of months after Phineas and Ferb enter the second dimension and save their own, Perry felt sad because he couldn't have fun with Phineas and Ferb while in Secret Agent Mode. Perry decided to go to Major Monogram and ask him if he could allow the boys and their friends to see him as an agent and have some fun. Major Monogram had repeatedly said no for a few weeks. Meanwhile, Perry was skipping work. This is where the story begins.


________________Chapter One - A Different Morning________________

Perry's watch began beeping. It was six in the morning and Major Monogram was contacting Perry. "Agent P, we really need yo--" *perry shuts off his watch*
--
After an hour had gone by, Phineas' alarm went off, waking Perry and Ferb in the process. "Good morning, Perry. Ready to have a fun day?" Asks Phineas. *perry noise* "I'm sure that means 'Yes.'"
"Well, he sure does know how to make a day fun." as stated by Ferb. "We should see what Perry wants to do." offers Phineas. Phineas picks up Perry and runs with Ferb down to breakfast. Meanwhile, Candace is just getting up. She comes downstairs, grumpy as usual from staying up too late.
--
"Good Morning, Candace. Did you stay up again?" asked Linda. "I don't see why it matters. Busting the boys is getting too repetitive. I just feel like spending the day with Phineas and Ferb. You know, have some fun for a change." said Candace as she was making herself some cereal.
"That's nice, Candace. I guess that means today I can finally take a day off without having to answer my phone about your psychotic rants all day." "Hey! What do you mean by psychotic rants?" replied Candace. "Remember the 'Giant Animation Studio?' You dragged me home and I saw absolutely nothing."
"Mom! Stop reminding me. Let me try to enjoy my day without remembering all my failed busting attempts." said Candace while finishing her breakfast. "So boys, what have you got planned for the day?" asks Linda, curious as to what Phineas and Ferb were going to imagine today.
"We aren't sure mom, we're going to let Perry decide. He hasn't been missing all day for the last few weeks. Ferb and I thought it would be nice to do something with him before he starts disappearing again every day." says Phineas, as happy as can be with a nearly full stomach. *ferb burps* "Excuse me." he politely says.

____________________________________________

How is it? Any suggestions would be great!
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metalmaster2
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reply date: 2012-06-28 01:59:18


It is pretty good in my opinion.
TiMxD
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reply date: 2012-06-28 12:49:26 last edited on: 2012-06-28 15:08:29


I had gotten some feedback from another website and I realized how terrible this is written. As of now, it's only written in a way of complete dialog. I need to add story to it, not just talking.

--

EDIT: I updated the story. I've started rewriting it from a different point in time. Now, it takes place before Major Monogram and Perry argue about being able to have Phineas and Ferb see Perry in Agent Mode.
Hourly Random Message: Did you know that Mods get paid 1 gummy bear a day?!?!? Sadly, they're all warm and linty from being in Littleroses pocket for three days.P2S Bot
hlopez
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reply date: 2012-06-29 13:32:34


nice i liked reading it

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