52 Indicators that you have been abducted by aliens

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Created: 2012-05-29 00:22:10
guthix181
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reply date: 2012-05-29 00:22:10 last edited on: 2012-07-02 00:45:14


Ask yourself if you . . .


1. Have had missing or lost time of any length, especially one hour or more.

2. Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.

3. Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them. especially if you have
an emotional reaction to them. (i.e. small scoop indentation, straight line scar, scars in roof of mouth. in nose, behind or in ears, or genitals, etc.

4. Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations

5. Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream.

6. Have a "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: alien face, examination, needle, table, strange baby, etc.)

7. Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.

8. Have had dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.

9. Have had a UFO sighting or sightings in your life.

10. Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.

11. Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, without knowing where this
compulsion came from.

12. Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.

13. For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. (pregnant, and then not)

14. Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e.
upside down in bed, or in your car)

15. Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.

16. Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.

17. Have strong reaction to cover of "Communion" or pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.

18. Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds. bright
lights, your personal security or being alone).

19. Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life.

20. Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.

21. Have awoken with marks, burns or bruises which appeared during the night with no explanation on how you could have possibly received them.

22. Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you
having been missing.

23. Have had, at any time, blood or an unusual stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.

24. Have an interest in the subject of UFOs or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot, or an extreme aversion towards the subject.

25. Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.

26. Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.

27. Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.

28. Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.

29. Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source.

30. Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.

31. Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.

32. Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.

33. Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.

34. Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights
going out as you walk under them, TV's and radios affected as you move close, etc.).

35. Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.

36. Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.

37. Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.

38. Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.

39. Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.

40. Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear.

41. Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.

42. Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.

43. Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.

44. Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials.

45. Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.

46. Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as a mysterious "feeling" that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with "something" important you must do).

47. Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.

48. Have a difficult time trusting other people. especially authority figures.

49. Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.

50. Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.

51. Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.

52. Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.

**Sorry!! Forgot to source, this is not my list!**

http://www.scribd.com/doc/5170345/Alien-Abductions
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kkrulez64
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reply date: 2012-05-29 01:37:07 last edited on: 2012-05-29 01:39:05


4. Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locations


I saw a ball of light in my room one night when I was about 10 years old. I also saw shadowy figures flying around in my room at that same time. Not joking either and before anyone says anything, I WAS awake and I was NOT just seeing things.
Jakob991
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reply date: 2012-05-29 02:53:04


i see bals of light its my kitchen light
stephenbaldwin
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reply date: 2012-05-29 11:58:23


wot have you been smoking brudder
stemeister
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reply date: 2012-05-29 15:40:12


You know that line that exists between stupid and crazy?
You crossed it.
earplug115
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reply date: 2012-05-29 17:10:21 last edited on: 2012-05-29 17:10:32


I've been abducted 52 time :o
War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery, Ignorance is Strength
JimmyFrann
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reply date: 2012-05-29 17:29:39


My girlfriend and I have both decided we've most definately been abducted. I have nosebleeds, random headaches, and mysterious scars. For some reason the nosebleeds and random headaches happen a lot around April and May... Gotta be aliens, right?
jimfish
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reply date: 2012-06-06 11:25:39 last edited on: 2012-06-08 08:06:11


1. Have had missing or lost time of any length, especially one hour or more.guthix181

Missing time is common to everybody. Minutes slip by, hours slip by, and without a frame of reference, it seems you're "missing time", when really, you're just not remembering. Misreading time, or simply incorrectly set clocks or watches can contribute, but more simply, activities like driving, or spending all day at work in a cubicle, or walking, or reading a book, or watching a movie, playing a game, talking to somebody, or just having a nap; unless you're clockwatching, or something significant happens, time'll sneak up and surprise you. You haven't been abducted.

People also fall asleep all the time without realising it, only to suddenly wake up as if nothing happened. You've seen the ads - "Don't drive tired." Falling asleep at the wheel for a few seconds, or minutes? Now that's missing time.
2. Have been paralyzed in bed with a being in your room.guthix181

This is also quite common, and comes from a problem during your sleep cycle. Sleep paralysis normally strikes when you're entering into or moving out of REM sleep, which is the deepest part of the sleep process, as the body is paralysed from the brain, to prevent a person from physically acting out their dreams, as injury might ensue. Everybody goes into REM sleep, but some people wake up during it, leaving the brain awake, fully conscious, but the body paralysed. Since it's dark, you've been dreaming, and you're paralysed, you're going to feel slightly panicked, and more likely to imagine evil beings in your room. Every culture has its own interpretation, from the demon imps of John Henry Fuseli, the "old hags" in Newfoundland, to the ghost baby "kokma" in the West Indies. Wikipedia lists a great deal of them here.

Alien abduction is just the latest cultural spin on it that's only been applied since the later half of the 20th century. Before it was demons, now it's extra-terrestrials.
3. Have unusual scars or marks with no possible explanation on how you received them. especially if you have an emotional reaction to them. (i.e. small scoop indentation, straight line scar, scars in roof of mouth. in nose, behind or in ears, or genitals, etc.guthix181

Again, very common. It would be more unusual if somebody didn't have a scar, a scrape, a cut, a bruise, a bump, etc...that they couldn't explain. Everybody's got them. I have one on my right thigh. How'd it get there? No idea. But when did it get there is the more important question. Most people rarely examine their bodies fully (i.e. in their nose or roof of mouth, genitals less so) unless there is a problem, or they feel the need to (like reading a list on the internet about signs of alien abduction, say), so these types of unexplained marks could be there for months, years or decades before being discovered, by which time the cause has long been forgotten. A banged shin on a coffee table, a cut thigh from a fall as a child, a scratched arm in the night as you move about...

The list creator is no doubt very aware just how common these things are, as he included them right at the top of the list, to draw people into the reading the rest, even though they are easily explainable, and quite boring.
4. Have seen balls of light or flashes of light in your home or other locationsguthix181

We live in a lit-up age. Lightbulbs, car headlights, floodlights, helicopters, planes, trains and autobahns, tv monitors, cellphone screens, flashlights, neighbour intruder lights, street lights, lightning... and these are just the physical things, without even getting into all the bodily tricks that can occur, like "Floaters." Floaters are those little bouncy things in front of your eyes - those little wiggly things. It occurs when the eye's vitreous breaks loose within the the eye, creating different shaped little tiny blobs. When light passes through your eye, a shadow is cast onto your retina, which is how you see these otherwise invisible blobs.

Likewise, a flash of light can being artificially produced if one were to touch their eyes, which sends an electrical impulse to the brain, which is interpreted as a flash of light. This is called "Photopsia." We've all rubbed our eyes when tired and at night, and no doubt seen similar light.

Other explanations include Phosphene, which you can read about here.

Again, not a sign of alien abduction. (sorry, kkrulez)
5. Have a memory of flying through the air which could not be a dream.guthix181

Chances are (unless you're Kal-El), you weren't really flying through the air, but dreaming, and simply forgot. The lines between reality and the dream world are very easily blurred. Have you ever gotten up in the night, used the bathroom, gone back to sleep, only to wake up and can't remember if using the bathroom was real or a dream? It's very easy to remember the small or vague details (feeling of flying), but not the context (i.e. you were dreaming at the time), allowing you to more easily confuse dreams and real life.
6. Have a "marker memory" that will not go away (i.e.: alien face, examination, needle, table, strange baby, etc.)guthix181

I'm not sure what a "marker memory" is, and Google's first result is a Japanese flash game, so I'm guessing it's a made-up term. To be doubly sure, I Googled "memory marker" as well, but that's only the brand name of a marker pen. Not much to say, other than we all get things like sounds or images stuck in our heads ("sugar, do-do do-doooo, ah, honey, honey...") for no real reason and no matter how we try, can't shake 'em. I doubt The Archies were an extra-terrestrial creation (although it would explain a lot), but these "marker memories" of "alien faces", or "strange babies" perhaps tie back into #2 - sleep paralysis. Remember "kokma", the demon baby from the West Indies? Here's an handy description on Google Books.

Those alien faces? Again, pretty common to the dream world. They're not really "alien" faces, so much as bland, unassuming faces. I'll hand off the explanation to Captain D.

And for bonus creepy, check out http://thisman.org
7. Have seen beams of light outside your home, or come into your room through a window.guthix181

This is just doubling up on #4. "Beams of light through a window"? Come on, don't kid yourself. You know it's a set of car headlights.
8. Have had dreams of UFOs, beams of light, or alien beings.guthix181

We're human, and we all dream of weird stuff, from being President of the United States delivering the State of the Union address...only naked! (What could it mean, doctor?!) to flying through space (with my main man Kal-El). Again, this isn't an indicator of alien abduction - it's an indicator you're normal, and dream like everybody else.
9. Have had a UFO sighting or sightings in your life.guthix181

Like with dreaming weird stuff, we also see weird stuff during our waking hours that we can't explain. However, just because somebody can't explain something, doesn't mean somebody else can't. The list of explanations of things runs the length of my arm, so I'll spare you the details, but you know the usual suspects; balloons (not always of the weather variety), clouds (especially lenticular ones), aircraft, kites, sky lanterns, birds, reflections, the planet Venus... (I'll leave off swamp gas)... Everybody has their little "unidentified flying object" moment - sadly, they don't bother trying to identify it, rather choosing to believe straight out it was aliens. "I saw a UFO when I was 8!-kinda stories. (again, sorry, kkrulez) =/
10. Have a cosmic awareness, an interest in ecology, environment, vegetarianism, or are very socially conscious.guthix181

This is a weird one. Being socially conscious = alien abduction? Say wah? Taking an interest in the environment is an alien concept? Huh? Wah? Next please.
11. Have a strong sense of having a mission or important task to perform, without knowing where this compulsion came from.guthix181

"There's a secret mission in uncharted space. Let's go." This one I can attest to. I once spent 12 hours straight playing Missile Command. It was like I was possessed by WOPR. I don't know if I was actually possessed by a fictional machine from a 1980s Matthew Broderick movie (it's possible), but chances are, I just really wanted to win the game. Just as others might really wanted to build the heck out of that birdhouse, through sleet and blizzards, or have a strange desire to climb a mountain, or rob a bank and call themselves Tania. People just want to achieve something. Don't need an alien explanation for that.
12. Have had unexplainable events occur in your life, and felt strangely anxious afterwards.guthix181

...Unexplainable in that they couldn't physically happen kinda way, or unexplainable in the "why did this plate of spaghetti have to fall on my head in front of the entire school" way?

Again, perhaps you're mixing up dreaming and real life. Perhaps you're misremembering or making up details out of whole cloth that seem true, but are fabrications.

Or, perhaps, more likely, you're referring to the whole "Dude! I was just thinking about this Simpsons episode, and it came on TV! How weird is that?" kinda deal. Not unusual.
13. For women only: Have had false pregnancy or missing fetus. (pregnant, and then not)guthix181


This is a grotesque one, and sickening, as it implies that one's "fetus" has been stolen or "extracted" by aliens. This is a very disturbing and dangerous entry. People can feel intense, crippling guilt over a loss of a pregnancy, and to tie that up with a belief in aliens is a whole psychologically ruining mess.

Pregnancy tests aren't infallible, nor are people who presume themselves pregnant simply because they're sick one morning, or are late a day or two. People believe they have brain tumours over the slightest of headaches. I would imagine the number of "false" or perceived pregnancies would be through the roof just from imagination alone, not counting incorrect pregnancy tests. Or, more sadly, a real miscarriage, or an ectopic or molar pregnancy. Not something to joke about, or include in a knockabout list about aliens to pass about so carelessly.

Again, a rather disturbing entry.
14. Have awoken in another place than where you went to sleep, or don't remember ever going to sleep. (i.e. upside down in bed, or in your car)guthix181

Again. Doubling up like a good'un 'ere. If the list creator were more honest, he'd only have about 15 entries. Not 51. See #1. People fall alseep all the time only to jolt awake as if no time has passed at all. I once closed my eyes on the couch in the afternoon, woke up a second later, and it was two in the morning in bed. The fact I had been sick did not help things.
15. Have had a dream of eyes such as animal eyes (like an owl or deer), or remember seeing an animal looking in at you. Also if you have a fear of eyes.guthix181

Doubling up again. Like #9, we dream - dreaming about animals isn't outside the realms of human possibility without aliens needing to be involved. Like #2, people in sleep paralysis usually report the feeling of being watched by some presence in the room.
16. Have awoken in the middle of the night startled.guthix181

Oh, come on. This list is running out of steam already. Loads of people startle awake - they hear a noise, have a bad dream or nosebleed, or have that weird sensation of falling. I'd be more concerned if Leonardo DiCaprio was poking about in my brain than aliens. This is nothing to do with aliens.
17. Have strong reaction to cover of "Communion" or pictures of aliens. Either an aversion to or being drawn to.guthix181

Er...it helps if you explain what "Communion" is. Since you're not the creator of the list, 'll cut you some slack, but copying and pasting it whole still isn't commendable, especially without improving on it.

Anyway, this is Communion:



It's just your standard "Grey" alien. If you jump back up to #6, you can re-watch Captain D's explanation for the "Grey" phenominoa, or here. Having a reaction to something visual is normal - The Grey is a weird looking fella' - some people will have an aversion, some people will be drawn to it. What's weird about that?
18. Have inexplicably strong fears or phobias. (i.e. heights, snakes, spiders, large insects, certain sounds. bright lights, your personal security or being alone).guthix181

...I don't need to explain what a phobia is, do I? Next.
19. Have experienced self-esteem problem much of your life.guthix181

...This is another dangerous one, as it appeals to the ego of a person with a self-admitted self-esteem problem, and tells them they're special, and have been abducted by aliens. This could almost be the recruitment questionnaire for a UFO cult. If you want to see the dangers of being sucked into a closed, reinforcing loop like alien groups, lets turn it over to the esteemed Penn & Teller (support group starts at 15:22):



And hey! The lady's first 3 indicators for alien abduction match this list's first 3 perfectly...I wonder...
20. Have seen someone with you become paralyzed, motionless, or frozen in time, especially someone you sleep with.guthix181

Yet more doubling up! #2 Sleep paralysis again, only this time it's somebody else being paralysed.
21. Have awoken with marks, burns or bruises which appeared during the night with no explanation on how you could have possibly received them.guthix181

Doubling up again! #3 - unexplained marks. Again, it's a case of when did this occur - it might not have occurred during last night, but a night fifteen years prior. You just didn't notice. Or, there's the more recent ones - ones that actually occur during the night. People can move about in their sleep and bump their arms, scratch their arms or backs on things like buttons, zippers, mattress springs, etc. That's not even considering people actually scratching themselves, trying to relieve an itch in their sleep. My sister once got a nosebleed in her sleep because she lifted up her arm in her sleep and hit her nose, and others get up in the night and sleep walk. These things are called "Parasomnia" and again, not extraterrestrial in nature.
22. Have had someone in your life who claims to have witnessed a ship or alien near you or has witnessed you having been missing.guthix181

#9! Only instead of you witnessing it, somebody else is seeing something they can't explain. Or, #8, and they're dreaming it instead and forgetting, like #5. ""I'll have two #9s, a #9 large, a #6 with extra dip, a #7, two #45s, one with cheese, and a large soda."
23. Have had, at any time, blood or an unusual stain on sheet or pillow, with no explanation of how it got there.guthix181

Oh, boy...this is an awkward one. Many a teenaged male will have woken up with an usual stain on their sheets. The explanation only becomes alien in nature is if their mother asks what it is before he can clean it up. Other embarrassing stains include drooling on your pillow, sweat patches during a hot night, dirty clothes, oily skin and hair, or nosebleeds in the night (my sister is terrible for them), or just the good ol' fashion wetting the bed. A level of personal embarrassment and shame can also come into effect, with a person not wanting to admit, even to themselves, that they might have caused the stain.
24. Have an interest in the subject of UFOs or aliens, perhaps compelled to read about it a lot, or an extreme aversion towards the subject.guthix181

Like #17, this is just taking an interest in something, or disliking something. Some people take an interest in knitting, others like aliens. Why do you need to abducted by aliens to have a passing interest in the idea of them?
25. Have been suddenly compelled to drive or walk to an out of the way or unknown area.guthix181

I'm sure the desire to do this is common to people too, but only acted upon rarely, unless emotionally affected. People get annoyed and frustrated and want to break away to some place else. When people get angry, they might storm out of a place and just walk, not caring where they end up, or even paying attention or choosing where they go. When people get curious they might walk down that road they keep passing, unsure of where it leads but interested to find out. I've done both.

If you said "have a strange compulsion to make mashed potato mountains of the Devil's Tower, New Jersey", then I might concede.
26. Have the feeling of being watched much of the time, especially at night.guthix181

Doubling up yet again, with #2 and #15. "Especially at night" is telling. Why? Because it's dark at night, leading to an effect called "Prisoner's Cinema", and closed eye hallucinations

There's an article about a similar effect in Perception magazine, explaining the science behind the "face in the mirror" or "Bloody Mary" illusion. You can read it here, or there's the Cracked version of it here.
27. Have had dreams of passing through a closed window or solid wall.guthix181

#8! Dreams, again. Next.
28. Have seen a strange fog or haze that should not be there.guthix181

Strange fog or haze that shouldn't be where? Outside, or inside? I don't really need to explain fog, do I?
29. Have heard strange humming or pulsing sounds, and you could not identify the source. guthix181

Everybody hears The Hum.. Well, not everybody... but still...it's an odd curiousity is The Hum. Might be aliens, but chances are, it's much more mundane.
30. Have had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life. Or have awoken with a nose bleed.guthix181

Oh, dear. My sister makes her fourth appearance on this list - I'm starting to worry she might be an alien. But again, more doubling up. #21, #23 and #16. The list creator is also getting pretty desperate - "had unusual nose bleeds at any time in your life" - that's one heck of a wide net he's casting out. Who hasn't had a sudden nosebleed in their life?
31. Have awoken with soreness in your genitals which can not be explained.guthix181

...Oh, boy. Erm...I'll call it "epididymal hypertension", rather than the more colourful (ha ha) name it's more known by. Again - nothing to do with being probed by aliens (unless you're into that kinda thing. Really, I won't judge. With me it was Cheetara.)
32. Have had back or neck problems, T-3 vertebrae out often, or awoken with an unusual stiffness in any part of the body.guthix181

Oh, come on. This is doubling up with the previous one #31. I, along with most other men wake up with a stiffness. If I was to conduct a survey, I'm sure it's all in a localised place across the board, and believe me, it 'ain't in our necks.

Neck problems are common during sleep, and is a result of a bad mattress, bad pillow, or poor sleeping posture, like sleeping on one's front (which, according to one magazine "flattens the natural curve in the lower back and keeps your head turned to one side all night, which distorts the alignment of the spine in your neck." Terri Trespicio, senior editor of Body+Soul), which is a big no-no.

Not aliens.
33. Have had chronic sinusitis or nasal problems.guthix181

What? My dear sweet mother with the sniffly nose during the summer is down to direct alien influence, and not simply from the allergic inflammation of the nasal airways occurring when allergen pollen is inhaled, commonly known as hayfever?! Again. The author of the list is desperate. A lot of people have nasal problems, either chronic, or just short-term blockages or irritations. Why assign an alien cause to something so mundane (and squicky) like sneezing, or nasal irritation? And just like JimmyFran, it happens to my mother during May and April, right around the middle of the grass pollen season, and come hand-in-hand with headaches.

34. Have had electronics around you go haywire or oddly malfunction with no explanation (such as street lights going out as you walk under them, TV's and radios affected as you move close, etc.).guthix181


Electronic devices fail all the time. My laptop that I'm using to type this on has blown through several chargers (I'm on my 4th adapter now), and the one I'm using now cuts out all the time (and causing me to lose much of what I've written several times now - Hurrah Notepad's save function!) Radios are prone to lose reception at a lot of things (weather, static, etc.) , and TVs suffer (less so with the digital switchover) from reception issues as well. Cellphone batteries die suddenly, or lose signal. It would be weird if something like this didn't happen to somebody at sometime. Again, I must refer quickly back to Penn and Teller, and also Dr. Steven Novella, to offer a little explanation.

His comment about assigning it to whatever phenomenon you're interested in is apt. Many of these entries on the list can also be claimed by those equally fanatical counterpart to UFO-enthusiasts; the ghost hunters. Waking up paralysed? A demon did it. Waking up with unexplained marks? Ghost baby, baby. Flying in the air? That's some stone-cold Exorcist black magic, man.
35. Have seen a hooded figure in or near your home, especially next to your bed.guthix181

Oh, man, all the time. Lots of them in fact. They all cluster together in groups outside the bus stop next to Tesco...and there's always this haze or fog surrounding them like #28...oh my...who knew the Tesco in Scunthorpe would be the centre of intergalactic visitors.

Or, more simply, this is another form of #2 - seeing an "entity" in your room as you wake up during REM sleep, only this time it's hooded. That, or I think I've solved the mystery identity of your nocturnal visitor:


36. Have had frequent or sporadic ringing in your ears, especially in one ear.guthix181

...Similar enough to 29 to call it a doubling up, but ringing in ears is perhaps a bit different, and is easily explained by Tinnitus. The Wikipedia page for it is very helpful, and a few choice quotations include:

In-ear headphones, whose sound enters directly into the ear canal without any opportunity to be deflected or absorbed elsewhere, are a common cause of tinnitus when volume is set beyond moderate levels. - I have headphones on right now, and just reading this causes me to notice the ringing.

Tinnitus is common; about 20% of people between 55 and 65 years old report symptoms on a general health questionnaire.

There's even a nice list of notable individuals with Tinnitus. I remember it was either Bill Shatner or Nimoy who developed tinnitus as a result of an explosion going off near their head on the Gorn episode of Star Trek. Maybe both. So, perhaps, in just this one little case, you could argue aliens caused the ringing in the ears. I'll give this entry half a point, just because 0/36 is a bad batting average to have, and I'm cool like that.
37. Have an unusual fear of doctors or tend to avoid medical treatment.guthix181

Maybe if the questions were expanded a little bit, it would be clearer just how they tie into UFOs. I.e. "have an unusual fear of doctors, since you were probably medically probed by some space alien in a lab coat and now don't like doctors." But really? I don't like going to the doctors. It's irrational, I know, but I can't help it, and nor can other people I imagine - ignoring a problem, rather than confronting reality, is always more comforting. I've always handed off explanations to those smarter than I; Captain Disillusion...Dr. Steven Novella...and now, I must hand off to the greatest genius mind alive today: Mr. Karl Pilkington:


38. Have insomnia or sleep disorders which are puzzling to you.guthix181

Oh, come on. Sleep disorders are normal. All of these entries seem to be ignorant of things sleep related. It's another duplicate entry as well, having covered parasomnia already.
39. Have had dreams of doctors or medical procedures.guthix181

More duplicate entries. The author of the list really seems to be struggling with the concept of dreams...
40. Have frequent or sporadic headaches, especially in the sinus, behind one eye, or in one ear. guthix181

...Running...out...of...steam. Headaches are normal. We all get them. No aliens here.
41. Have the feeling that you are going crazy for even thinking about these sorts of things.guthix181

This doesn't even count! This is a meta-entry. Most people will be weirded out during sleep paralysis. Most people will be taken aback after a weird dream. Most will look at an object in the sky and think "What the heck is that?" - how is this a sign of being abducted by aliens?

This is an entry about noticing these entries of being abducted by aliens. That's doubling up more than ever.
42. Have had paranormal or psychic experiences, including intuition.guthix181

Again, Room 101 and Stephen Fry can answer this one:

It's just simply a case of the Texas Sharpshooter Fallacy. I have to hand off to the great book "You Are Not So Smart for an explanation.

You're simply remembering all the "hits" (when you intuit something correctly, or half-correctly), and ignoring all the "misses" (when you're wrong). Thinking about somebody and then they ring on the phone...thinking of an episode of the Simpsons and then it comes on...everybody experiences things like this, simply based on probability alone, and they remember it because they were right, rather than all the times they were wrong. Again, nothing to do with aliens. Just human fallacies.
43. Have been prone to compulsive or addictive behavior.guthix181

We've had this one. #11 - compulsive behaviour.
44. Have channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials.
guthix181

Whoa! This one is delivered so openly and without build-up, it's amazing. "Channeled telepathic messages from extraterrestrials." Wow. But what does it mean? When people saying "channeling", they usually mean that an "entity" (remember Novella; if you're into ghosts, it's a ghost, if you're a UFO fan, it's aliens) is speaking through somebody else. This entry is much more open than the others, and relies on a person actively involved in the subject of aliens, rather than applying "alien" explanations for mundane things for the non-believers, and if you answer yes, you were already a believer in UFOs anyway, and the rest of the list was simply re-enforcing one's delusions.





YouTube is full of crazies talking about their "alien spirit guide" or making contact. Most seem to be very religious, or very involved in everything New Age (crystals, psychics, chi 'energy', etc.) You must already be a believer to answer this one.
45. Have been afraid of your closet, now or as a child.guthix181

That's because it's where Randall Boggs lives. (For an alternate closet joke, insert your own R Kelly joke here)



But really, the author is gone off into crazyville. Being scared of a closet? Unless E.T.'s hiding in there again, there's nothing to worry about.

(seriously, however many closet and E.T. references can one guy make?)
46. Have had sexual or relationship problems (such as a mysterious "feeling" that you must not become involved in a relationship because it would interfere with "something" important you must do).guthix181

I have this. I can't go out and date women. I have to reach Lvl 120 wood cutting on Runescape. It's important, mom. Fo' realsies.
47. Have to sleep against the wall or must sleep with your bed against a wall.guthix181

...Erm...most beds are against walls. Unless you sleep in a pile of pillows in the middle of the floor (or in a cool cardboard fort), you're going to be against a wall. ???
48. Have a difficult time trusting other people. especially authority figures.guthix181

...Erm....What has this got to do with aliens?
49. Have had dreams of destruction or catastrophe.guthix181

Ding Ding! #9! High and a winner got a hot hand, Place your bets ladies and gentlemen... Dreams again.
50. Have the feeling that you are not supposed to talk about these things, or that you should not talk about them.guthix181

Another meta-entry, and a duplicate of #41, where you feel crazy for thinking about these things.
. Have tried to resolve these types of problems with little or no success.guthix18151

How is this a sign of alien abduction? Again, this is a meta-entry of somebody noticing one or more of these "signs" of alien abduction, not a "sign" itself.
52. Have many of these traits but can't remember anything about an abduction or alien encounter.guthix181

BINGO. This is the one, and the reason why the list is so long - the author wants you to have the maximum number of possible hits. The more you get, the more he can sucker you in with the promise that you've been abducted by aliens, but just don't remember it. It's rather repugnant, really. These types of idiotic lists get bounced around the Internet like a yo-yo, through chain emails, Facebook wall updates, forums and YouTube comments. This list? It seems to have first cropped up on the Internet in 1996 by a lady called Melinda Leslie, and has been copied and pasted unchanged ever since for 16 years. It is perhaps as old as guthix181 who posted it. Now that's old.

Here's a site by somebody who's also gone through the list entry by entry, giving his opinions. His responses are interesting, and worth a read.

-0-0-0-0-0-0-0
̶ J̶e̶r̶r̶y̶'̶s̶ Jimfish's Final Thought

Well, half a point out of 52 isn't a great score, especially since that half a point was for a fictional Star Trek episode that I'm fond of.

I'm sure for most people, the list a bit of harmless fun, and by some (not all) of the responses here, it seems like it's being lightheartedly read and dismissed as kooky. Cool. However, some people do get sucked into believing some of this, and it can leave them isolated from the rest of the world, where they're stuck in a closed-feedback loop, where people keep reinforcing their beliefs that they're not imagining things, and no criticism or objectivity is applied. Not cool. Remember, Heaven's Gate was only 15 years ago. And here's a Connecticut Hour newspaper article about Laverne Landis and Gerald Flach, who ran out of supplies whilst waiting for their alien buddies to turn up back in the 80s, and Landis died, a believer to the end:

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=19
16&dat;=19821215&id;=IRpJAAAAIBAJ&sjid;=KQY
NAAAAIBAJ&pg;=1315,2949627


Reading the article, you'll notice the number of entries in this list that match: interest in UFOs (#24), traveling to an out of the way place (#25), channeling alien spirits (#44), interest in psychic phenomena (#42), going missing (#22), spotting UFOs (#9), a compulsive obsession or mission (#11)...

Most, thankfully, don't go to such lengths as Laverne Landis, but a danger still exists. Family or social isolation, where people become withdrawn from the "normal" world and drawn into the UFO community - a division between the believers and the non-believers, who are seen to be harmful or negative influences on the believer, and are usually cut off. Financial dangers as well - a lot of money has been wasted on the Mickey Mouse industry of UFOs. Billions of dollars spent on books, or tapes and lectures to listen to people simply making stuff up. Real science is hard work - believing in alien abductions is quick and easy, and can make one feel special for doing nothing, or can make one a bundle of cash.

Here endth the lesson.
Exar
UK platinum
Points2shop is my specialty
Total posts: 1503
Status: Offline
reply date: 2012-06-06 21:26:31


I always enjoy reading your posts Jimfish,

:thumbup::thumbup:

~Exar
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kkrulez64
US (FL) legend
Old Forum User
Total posts: 3766
Status: Offline
Date of Birth: 1988-03-02
reply date: 2012-06-06 22:19:50


We live in a lit-up age. Lightbulbs, car headlights, floodlights, helicopters, planes, trains and autobahns, tv monitors, cellphone screens, flashlights, neighbour intruder lights, street lights, lightning... and these are just the physical things, without even getting into all the bodily tricks that can occur, like "Floaters." Floaters are those little bouncy things in front of your eyes - those little wiggly things. It occurs when the eye's vitreous breaks loose within the the eye, creating different shaped little tiny blobs. When light passes through your eye, a shadow is cast onto your retina, which is how you see these otherwise invisible blobs.

Likewise, a flash of light can being artificially produced if one were to touch their eyes, which sends an electrical impulse to the brain, which is interpreted as a flash of light. This is called "Photopsia." We've all rubbed our eyes when tired and at night, and no doubt seen similar light.

Other explanations include Phosphene, which you can read about here.

Again, not a sign of alien abduction. (sorry, kkrulez) jimfish


I'm very aware of those things but it does not explain what I saw. What I gave was only a short explanation of what I saw. I won't go into detail because this isn't something where I feel like I need to convince people to believe me. Also, I wasn't trying to say that i've been abducted by aliens before because I don't believe I have. I was just explaining something I saw once.
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