Forum Homepage
Best Room mate ad ever
|
Moofball
UK platinum Points2shop is my specialty Total posts: 1045 Status: Offline 
|
**Because this is a family site, i have changed all curse words into fruit** BTW AFTER REPLACING THOSE WORDS AND READING IT, IT'S SORT OF MORE FUNNY LOL. THIS IS ALSO THE TYPE OF AD I WOULD WRITE 
Via Craigslist $1000 Best. Roommate. Ever. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Date: 2011-08-18, 11:05AM PDT Reply to: hous-rmtcm-2553563387@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?] -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Konichiwa bannanas . Are you looking for the most kick- orange cherrying roommate that ever lived? If so, look no further. You appling found him. I'm a 25-year-old professional marketing agent with experience at bad- apple companies in New York apricoting City. That's right! What you know about experience? I graduated from Auburn University in Alabama, and moved to NYC at the ripe, tender age of 22. After deciding that New York was a stinky plum -hole, I moved back to Alabama to cultivate more professional experience. Why? So I can make millions of dollars and not have to post lime like this on Craigslist. Anyway, so I landed this job with a marketing firm in San Francisco, and I have no lemoning clue where to live. Honestly, I'm moving there in 3 weeks, so I don't give a cherry if I have to sleep in your bathtub. A bit about me: I'm respectful, quiet, clean and I won't bother any of your orange . If you leave orange out, I'm just like, "Oh apple I better not mess with this orange , because it's not mine." I turn off lights. I clean toilets. Plum it. I'll even cook for you. That's right! My dad is a chef and taught me everything there is to know about cooking southern cajun cuisine. I'll fry green tomatoes, cover them with marinated crab meat and smother that lime in bearnaise. EVERY. GRAPE DAMN. NIGHT. Don't eat meat? That's lemoning FANTASTIC! I'll make a zucchini and yellow squash carpaccio that will knock your pluming socks off. I also read a lot. I cherrying LOVE books. Vonnegut, Palahniuk, Hawthorne. All that pear . I read Tuesday's with Morrie the other day. It's a sad story, but I learned something about life, love, knowledge and the pursuit of something greater than myself. Appleing smart. Do you like movies? I oranging love them. We can watch the plum out of some movies together if you like, or go get drinks, or work out, hike, play video games or play a game of one-on-one basketball, or I don't have to talk to you at all. It's completely UP TO YOU! Sometimes I play guitar. Are you going to love getting baked and listening to Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd? LIVE? WHENEVER THE PLUM YOU WANT? Of course you are! I'll take requests and learn any song you like, because I have the voice of an angel and the acoustical stylings of James appling Taylor. AWWWWWW YEA! A lot of people ask me, "Hey, you're from Alabama. Are you racist?" And, the answer to that question is, no. I'm not racist or judgmental at all. I love everyone. I'm a secular humanist. I apricoting LOVE PEOPLE. That's the only requirement to being a secular humanist actually. You have to like other human beings and want to help them for no other reason than they are human regardless of race, religion or plum preference. WTH?!!!? Pretty peaching cool right? I own almost nothing! I'm driving my car from Alabama to California in which I'll be transporting two duffelbags of clothes, one laptop computer, one guitar, one cell-phone with charger, 8 pairs of shoes, one picture frame, probably some condoms and a cherry load of beef jerky and Pringles for the trip. Though, you can expect the jerky to be gone upon my arrival. Unless you'd like me to pick up some on my way into the city. See?! I'm the most considerate person you've ever met. I'm offering to buy you grape already! Am I interested in your pad? You can bet my nomadic apple I am! I only require 4 walls, a ceiling and a floor to shelter me from the elements. Other than that, anything else will be considered a convenient plus. I'm taking being a roommate to the next level. Email me! I'll hook yo orange up with Facebook links, background checks, credit reports, phone numbers, resumes, references, awards, bannana history, pictures of karate trophies and a list of the top 10 women I'd like to cherry before I die. If you want a next-generation roommate who consistently blows your appleing mind with awesomeness, then hit me up. I'm ready to give you money. •cats are OK - purrr •dogs are OK - wooof •it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests PostingID: 2553563387 |
| We are one. We are Legion. | |
|
Evertw
NO new Points2shop is my specialty Total posts: 1005 Status: Offline 
|
He sounds like some kind of Demigod. I mean he claims to be able of so many different skills. Ah well pretty funny. Creative replacing of words. |
krazyjayzen
US (WI) gold New Poster Total posts: 7 Status: Offline Date of Birth: 81-11-21 Total Earnings: $78.75 
|
Different... Ten years ago, I would have snatched this guy up as a roommate. Sounds like he might know how to have fun. |
| What do you mean I didn't win?! | |
|
nearargivi
US (CA) platinum Senior Poster Total posts: 239 Status: Offline Date of Birth: 95-04-17 Total Earnings: $132.96 
|
lol i like the humor added by fruits
|
| WWTDD | |
|
mcmonkey
US (CA) new New Poster Total posts: 10 Status: Offline Date of Birth: 82-09-18 Total Earnings: $4.05 
|
That's appling hilarious! I graping want an orange roommate like that. |
|
darxide23
US (OH) silver New Poster Total posts: 11 Status: Offline Date of Birth: 81-12-03 Total Earnings: $5.54 
|
Is this in the "Best of Craigslist"? If not, it should be. |
| Look at my eyes. One of them is a fake because I lost it in an accident. Since then I've been seeing the past in one eye and the present in the other. I thought I could only see patches of reality, never the whole picture. I felt like I was watching a dream I could never wake up from. Before I knew it the dream was over. | |
